Dating for Spiritual and Romantic Growth- Basic Christian Dating Principles

As Christians, we take pride in living to the highest standards we know-that is, living how Christ would want us to live. The hard thing is that we live in a world that seeks to go against the principles and values we hold so dear. This is especially true when it comes to dating and getting to know romantic partners that you’d like to interact with on a more personal basis.

Dating is not something to be taken lightly! While God wants us to have fun and take joy in the wonderful people He has put into our lives, we must remember that what seems like a fun date today could be the marriage you seek a few years from now.

And marriage is one of the most joyous and rewarding unions two people in love can enter. Creating a strong and stable foundation for marriage means that you should know how to date the right way, so you are ready to be the best husband or wife you can be.

Please gather around as we discuss eight Biblical dating principles that will lend you assurance, confidence and a good spiritual mindset as you seek that special individual who will share their life with you!

Make Sure You Are Right with God

God is the one you should make sure you are committed to first. He should be the relationship you seek to grow and foster before above all others. It may sound a little bit of an old-school concept, but this is the only way you can guarantee a joyful, fruitful and spiritually fulfilling marriage. Too many people end up in divorce or in a state of heartbreak because God was not first.

Make sure that you are baptized and do this before you seek a partner. This makes the Holy Spirit available for you and making decisions that could alter or change your life are best done when you have the Holy Spirit to guide you.

Be sure that the person you are interested in is also baptised. Think of it this way: if the one you would like to date is someone who has not pledged his or her life to God by way of baptism, how can you be certain that person will be committed to you?

2. Avoid Immoral Sexual Choices

In our society today, sex is everywhere. It is normal, natural and healthy to engage in sexual intercourse, but it certainly does not need to happen before marriage takes place.

Sexuality is important, but one does not need to have sex first to determine if they are compatible with another. This is a teaching that is better off not being acted upon- Christians should oppose such an idea.

It is normal and very understandable that someone you are dating makes you have sexual thoughts or urges. Temptation is very real, and we’ve all been there-it is a strong emotion for sure!

However, we must exercise caution so as to not commit fornication and engage in sex before marriage. As the Bible says, do what you can do avoid such a behavior. After all, the right person can and will wait for you!

Use your good judgment and act as God would want you to when faced with such thoughts. Pursue purity, and you will feel much happier!

3. Avoid Places Where Evil Can Grow

Do not go to places that are isolated, secluded, or otherwise dark. It is in places like this that temptation is liable to creep in when you least want it to, and things could happen that you will likely regret down the road. Go to places that are well-lit and free from darkness, or date with a friend or chaperone if you feel that you need some help keeping things pure.

4. Patience is a Virtue

I had a buddy once who was looking tirelessly for a mate. This guy had it all-great relationship with God and active in his church, new truck, and a good job as an office manager.

But he just kept on looking and looking, asking plenty of young ladies out on dates. He wasn’t getting a response. Finally, I had to tell him, “Bud, you are trying too hard!”

And wouldn’t you know it, one month after he stopped looking, he met up with a great woman after casually checking his eHarmony profile one day. They met for coffee, shared some laughs, and did it all again two days later. They’ve been going strong for a few months now!

My point is that we have to let time reveal what it wants for us. Don’t rush into relationships just because you are infatuated or feeling “puppy love”. Solomon says not to awaken love until it is ready!

We must be ready emotionally, financially, and physically for dating-and above all else-right with God before dates happen. Take your time, it’s not a race!

5. Women: With All Purity

Men, this is for us. Please treat women with respect and dignity. Every woman is a child of God. She is somebody’s mother, sister, friend or daughter. We must protect them at all costs-women are the beautiful creations of God who make us men balanced and whole and provide us with beautiful children we can raise in God’s image.

Related: How to Find a Christian Wife God’s Way

They are the rocks on which we can hold when things get rough. Therefore, do not engage in acts which defile women. You are taking something that does not belong to you. Respect her and her values-after all, every one of us desires a mate that is pure and waited just for us.

6. Do Not Date to Convert

It can be so exciting to lead someone new to the light of God and the teachings of Christ. After all, I can attest to how much clearer things became when I began living my life as God wanted me to. I naturally want to tell everybody how great it feels!

Related: How to Find a God Fearing Man

But not everybody wants to hear this. Some Christians say that dating non-believers is a good thing because they can lead them to church. This is a nice idea, but the Bible actually says otherwise. While we are to commanded to tell people about the good news it is, ultimately, God’s decision who will come to His light. It is Him that will draw people to the church. It is our duty to be a beacon and live as our Creator says we should.

Christians who have tried to convert their partner mostly find that the conversion was done for the sake of the relationship, and that their partner goes back to their old ways rather quickly.

7. Think Ahead: Date with Marriage on the Mind

Are you dating with marriage on the mind? Or, are you dating just for the sole purpose of having a good time, seeking somebody you can hug, hold, kiss or even go further with? If you’re dating to have fun-simply for the heck of it-then you are missing out on exclusively dating.

Having the wrong intention and motivation as to why you are dating are a recipe for disaster. Eventually, the curtain will come falling down and the true intentions are revealed. It’s as if you walked in to a job boasting a resume loaded with qualifications…but you really didn’t have the ability to do any of the things on your resume. Eventually, the jig would be up, and you’d move on to find a new job. Nobody wants to do that-or date forever before finding the right one!

Make it easy on yourself and date with a purpose. It is not likely that you’re gonna find the right one immediately. Dating gives you the chance to know more about somebody. The point is that you should date because you care about getting into a serious relationship that leads to marriage.

Cohabitation, casual sex and the like are not the way to happiness. Real satisfaction comes from taking on the challenge of marriage and the day to day problems you solve, coming out stronger as a couple.

In Closing

We will close with a verse from 1 John 4:18:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

By making sure that you follow principles that align with your Christian principles, you need not fear a thing. You might be wondering where you can find like-minded Christians like yourself! I personally love eHarmony. I felt inspired by my friend’s success story and have decided to try it out for myself. So far, I have a few good matches lined up, and I can be very clear about my beliefs.

Keep your head up and remember to walk by faith, not by sight. God has a plan for you, so you simply need to be the best you can be in all you do, and He will make sure you find the right partner. Date with Christian principles in mind, and your experience will be fun and exciting. Good luck and enjoy meeting like-minded followers and worshipers!

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