So you’ve signed up for a Christian dating site such as eharmony, Christian Mingle, or Christian Cafe and you’re so excited! Then…nothing…Never fear help is here! In this piece, I want to tell you how to make a good Christian dating profile to attract the right person for you.
Tip 1: Your Picture Matters
Remember that great experience you had the last time you messaged someone on a dating site that didn’t have a picture on their profile? Neither do I. Your picture is the most important part of your profile and it’s not something to take lightly! By the
Even If you’re no Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington you can still have great results on a dating site. You just need to do a few things.
Make your picture interesting. Having an interesting picture is a great way to make people interested in you. Too often do I see people posting yearbook type photos or just no effort selfies and then getting upset when they don’t see results. I had a client come into my office who was having problems attracting the right girls. After working with him we determined he had good qualities that most Christian girls are looking for: a good steady job (he was a microbiologist), his own place, strong faith in God etc.
After doing some digging I saw his dating profile and the picture was his graduation photo from 10 years ago! No wonder he was having trouble. We went through his photos and I suggested
He did and he started getting all sorts of messages. He’s currently engaged to a very beautiful young lady that would’ve normally been way out of his league, according to him. But you see this photo is interesting because it demonstrates to potential partners that:
A. He’s employed B. He’s educated C. He’s a hard worker
Tip 2: Your bio matters
I mostly see this problem in male clients. They don’t take their profile bios seriously. Men, trust me, women read bios! Your bio can easily mean the difference between meeting your true love and not getting any responses to your messages and then blaming the website.
Do write something, it shows you are making a little effort to seduce. In doing so, please avoid clichés (most men like sports, traveling and good food) write about what makes you special and unique or funny. No inspiration? Ask your friends and family what they think makes you unique.
A good dating profile bio looks something like this
HeyI’m a 30 year oldsingle guy just checking things out and seeing if there’s a nice girl out there looking for something real. I’m a cop who’s in shape with a daughter that is the pride of my life. Next is my son, Jojo, who is also my working partner and a K9. I’m looking for a nice girl who has the faith and can handle dating someone with an irregular work schedule (like working on weekends & holidays)
Do you see what this bio does? It conveys to the reader that you:
- Have a good stable job
- Have a sensitive side but are still masculine
- It lets the reader know up front not to expect to spend every Saturday with you
- Your faith is important
Dating profile bios Do’s & Don’t’s
- Be honest
- Say what you’re actually looking for
- Say something funny and/or interesting about yourself
- Use cliches: “I like long walks on the beach” =
- Brag about yourself
- Try to make yourself hollier than you really are. Whenever I hear people say things like: “I pray before every meal, go to church every Sunday, have never had a drop of alcohol touch my lips, and I read a Bible chapter every night” I just think “Who does she think she’s fooling?” Trust me people see through that kind of stuff.
Tip 3: Make an Effort Guys!
“Hey” isn’t going to cut it! If you want a girl that’s normally out of your league you better put some effort into it and show her you’re willing to work for her hand! You should message her like she’s the absolute girl of your dreams!
A good opener on a Christian dating site should be a message that demonstrates you actually read her profile. Let’s say you read Denise’s profile and she says in her
A good opener would be something like this:
Just wanted to say what’s up. What do you study? When I was a kid I had a rabbit his name was Oscar; getting him was the best Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten! Too bad he wasn’t pink though! Haha!
It isn’t necessary to write an entire paragraph in order to make a good opener. You just need to show her that you put some effort and that you’re looking for more than to just get in her pants
In that opening, you’ve created at least 4 different avenues of productive conversation.
- Talk about school- you can ask her what her major is. You can talk about what you’re studying and what does she plan to do with her life when she finishes school. These are just a few examples.
- You can talk about rabbits. You can talk about your rabbit and ask her why she loves rabbits so much
- Your childhoods
- Your favorite colors
A really good thing is you’ve shown her you have a sense of humor and made her chuckle. Once you’ve made a girl laugh you’re already halfway through the door!
Tip 4: Create Good Karma
Be not deceived; GodGalatians 6:7
is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
The next step is to create good karma for yourself. I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow!
How did you treat this girl when she hit you up on a dating site?
Don’t get me wrong it’s perfectly fine to not be interested in someone but the way you express disinterest determines what kind of energy you put into the world.
If you replied to her with ‘yeah right haha!’ just remember that the next time a girl blocks you on Christian Cafe. If you just didn’t reply or politely told her you weren’t interested then you’re doing just fine.
Tip 5: Go Where the Good Girls Go
If you are serious about your faith and want a partner that is also serious about her faith then you need to go where those girls go. I also advice my young men’s group to stay away from Tinder and Bumble as those sites are full of females who will draw you away from Christ.
There are plenty of good Christian sites to go to meet good girls. Christian Cafe is a great one. They will let you sign up for a trial without a credit card. I met my wife on eharmony and then there’s Christian Mingle which is the world’s largest Christian dating site.
But don’t forget about your church. There are many churches that are full of good Christian women out there as well. Most churches have a singles ministry nowadays.