One big problem with dating Filipinas is the paradox of choice. We guys have so many options but we don’t feel there are a lot of good choices out there. The truth is there are a ton of good choices in The Philippines its just that we’ve become so jaded and picky that we don’t see what great options there are right in front of us.

That’s why I wanted to write this article to give you an idea of when she’s ‘the one’. You know it’s really sad when I meet guys that have been here for years and they’re bitter and jaded and still alone. You know the guys I’m talking about. The guys that are always insulting Filipinas in expat groups and whatnot.  I hope this list will help you determine if your Filipina is the one or not. Of course, this is something that can and should be determined by you but it is my hope that this list will be a general guideline.

First and foremost is if she hasn’t asked for money and even better if she won’t accept money.

Filipinas know their country has a reputation for gold diggers and scammers. That’s why a good girl will do everything she can to abrogate that fear in you. A decent Filipina won’t complain about her finances and her family won’t complain about their finances either. And I mean both literally and figuratively.

Some times they won’t ask for money directly but they’ll say things like ‘oh I don’t have fare to go home’ or ‘omg my family’s house needs a need roof’. Stay away from those girls because you know what she’s after.

Guys listen, you don’t need to try to buy a person here. Sometimes we’ve been socialized back home to believe that the only way to get a young beautiful woman to fall in love with us is to try to buy her. But that’s not the case here in The Philippines. Filipinas are very forgiving when it comes to age.

A good way to weed out a scammer is to offer a little bit of money such as a load or to pay for her fare. If she asks for more afterward you now she’s after money. If she accepts it but doesn’t ask for more later you’ve got a B+ girl. If she refuses to take it then you’ve hit the jackpot!

Second, are you comfortable being naked around her?

How comfortable are you walking out of the shower butt naked in front of her? If for some reason you feel embarrassed for her to see your body then you may need to spend some more time her before popping the question.

Also, how comfortable is she being naked in front of you? If she’s too scared to be naked in front of you because you may want sex with her then that’s bad. She should be 100% comfortable to be nude with you.

Which leads me to my third point is sex for her a chore?

Does she just tolerate you on top of her or can you feel that energy and excitement when you guys are in bed together? Some people say it’s shallow to break up with someone over sex but I disagree. Sex can tell you a lot about a person.

If you happen to be a Filipina reading this and you’re with a man and as soon as he finishes it’s over, your orgasm be damned then he’s probably a selfish prick. If you’re a guy and she won’t initiate and she’s as dry as the Sahara desert it’s a sign there may be some physical attraction issues.

If you’re having to practically beg her for intimacy and it’s not changing even after making a genuine attempt to make sure her needs are being met I feel that’s a legitimate reason to end the relationship.

Fourth, can you enjoy each other’s company without doing something?

Can you just chill with her in your house and enjoy the time or does there always have to be some plan in place to enjoy each other’s company? You two should be able to enjoy each other without there having to be some sort of catalyst activity involved. 

The two most important things

Does she share your values? I don’t just mean she parrots whatever you say I mean does she truly share your core values? Are you both spenders or savers? Are you both of the same faith? Can you talk to her without a filter?

Lastly, Do you want the same things in life? If she’s a young woman chances are high she’s going to want kids. Are you ready to go through child rearing again? If you want to go back to your country is she on board with that or does she not want to leave her family behind in The Philippines. When I was dating I had a relationship break up over this very thing. That’s really important and you need to discuss that when you first get together. Don’t think that ‘oh so long as we love each other those things will work themselves out’. I got very hurt thinking that way. 

My Final Thought

If you have doubts you should not get married. Marriage is not a joke and it’s not to be taken lightly. It’s a promise to her and to God that you will be with this person forever and ever. Don’t take it lightly.

How to Know if Your Filipina is Honest

You just caught your Filipina in a lie because you had actual numbers. Filipinas can be master manipulators and you need to look out for some of their tricks. Your best weapon to know if your Filipina is honest it to have a good memory. Judge Judy always says when you tell the truth you don’t need a good memory. Fact: Filipino scammers that like to lie are most likely chatting with multiple guys and telling them multiple stories. It’s hard to keep track of all those stories and eventually, they’ll slip up.

Specificity is Your Friend

When you’re chatting up a girl in The Philippines always try to get specifics when having a conversation. For example, if you’re talking about your jobs, don’t just ask what she does. Ask her what her job title is. You can do this tactfully. If she tells you she graduated from college ask her what her degree is in and what university specifically. Fun fact: The top universities ‘The Big 4’ in The Philippines are: University of The Philippines, Ateneo University, De La Salle University, University of Santo Tomas Remember that Facebook messages don’t go away. Anytime she gives you a number you can cross-reference it with a number she gave you before. Whenever she asks for money always make her give a detailed explanation of why she needs it. Use ‘what about’ questions. For instance, if she’s claiming to need money for her Lola’s hospital bill, make sure you ask ‘well what about your job?’ ‘What about’ questions are a great way to get her to give you numbers. Related: Why Filipinas Always Ask For Money

Ask for Details

A lot of times Filipina scammers will try to lie about having the same interests as you. If she tells you she has a particular interest ask more questions about it. If, for example, she tells you her faith is strong and she goes to church every Sunday ask her what her favorite Bible verse is. A true Christian woman of faith shouldn’t have any problem telling you her favorite bible verse without even having to think about it.

Do What The Cops Do

When the cops interrogate someone they’ll ask a question, get the answer, and then they’ll ‘confirm’ a different answer later in the interview. This is a good tactic because it goes back to what I said earlier. If you tell the truth you don’t need a good memory. You can ask her what subject is her degree in and let’s say she tells you it’s in Hotel and Restaurant Management, when you first meet and maybe after a month ago you can bring it up in conversation that she said she had a degree in Caregiving (yes that’s a degree in The Philippines).

Common Things Filipinas Lie About

Just remember their goal is to get you to like them so you’ll give them a better life. So here are some common lies you’re likely to hear if you chat with enough Pinays

• Telling you she’s a virgin
• Saying you’re the only foreigner that she’s ever chatted with
• Claiming love after 1 or 2 chats
• Lying about the strength of her faith
• A typhoon blew down her house
• Her lola (grandma) is in the hospital
• She has no children
• That she graduated from college

Get Her Off Her Script

I used to work as a cell phone salesman for a major carrier here in The US. I remember in training I had to read all sorts of information about over a dozen phones and I remember thinking to myself ‘how the heck am I gonna remember all of this stuff?!’ Turns out when I got in the phone with most of the potential customers they all asked pretty much the same questions: “How much does it cost?” “What colors do you have?” and “How many minutes and gigabytes of data should I get?”. Turns out that Americans looking to date Filipinas also ask pretty much the same questions. “How old are you?” “What are you looking for?” ” Do you have children?”and “How many other foreign boyfriends have you had?” That’s why most Filipinas looking to manipulate someone have a script that they use with pretty much every single guy that they talk to. They know what to say to get you the most excited about dating them. Therefore if you want to catch a Filipina in a lie asking her unexpected questions is the best way to throw her off her script. A study revealed this was one of the best ways to catch identity thieves. She expects that you’ll ask her how old she is. But what if instead, you ask her what year she was born? If she hesitates and has to think about it then you’ll know she’s a liar. This obviously works better in a voice chat then a text chat. She knows you’ll ask how many foreign boyfriends she’s had before. But what if instead, you ask ‘what does your family think about you talking to guys so far away?’ This might trip her up into saying something like ‘oh they’re used to it’ or ‘they don’t care’. Those are signs she’s talked to many foreign guys before you.

Best ways to avoid Filipina scammers

My grandmother used to tell us growing up that the best way to keep from getting sick is to eat with clean hands. If you want to avoid scammers the best way is to be a person of honor and integrity yourself. If you approach Filipinas like you’re a celebrity that has his pick of the litter or worse that you can buy a person, you shouldn’t be surprised if you don’t get good results. Take your time. There’s no rush. Many girls will try to rush you into a relationship and marriage but there’s simply no reason to rush. Someone that’s desperate to enter into a relationship isn’t someone that’s likely, to tell the truth even when it hurts. The word of a desperation person isn’t worth the air it’s spoken in.  

I had a buddy that was having a hard time dating women here in The States. He was only 35 and had a full-time job as a nurse, but the girls he kept meeting just didn’t share his values. He also had problems with women cheating on him. The problem was the girls he was interested in valued hyper-masculine aggressive males and as a relatively soft-spoken Asian male, he didn’t fit their criteria.

We (his parents and I) suggested looking to The Philippines for a suitable wife. He was skeptical but open. So, he decided to just try it

He chatted with many women and went there twice. Last time he came back he jubilantly told me he met a nice young lady that fit his criteria. She was in shape, conservative, and loved the Lord as much as he did. Even better she wasn’t demanding and all in his face like the western women he dated before.

Better still she didn’t look down on him for living with his parents. She understood that he had a full-time job and knew he was saving money to buy a house. I’ve never seen him happier!

They got married last month.

Here are 8 Good Reasons to Date a Filipina

You Get a Girlfriend and a Mom in One!

If you are dating a Filipina, expect that you would get exemplary service – that’s for sure! We truly enjoy taking care of our partners. It is normal for us to wake up earlier than the usual to prepare your breakfast, your clothes for the day, your gadgets and all that jazz. They want you to feel loved at all times. They want you to feel like a king when you are with us. Just a tip – Don’t get annoyed if they send random messages every hour of the day just to check if you are doing well. It’s just that they can’t help but be sweet.

They Are Young and Fresh

According to the Philippine Statistics Authority, the average Filipino woman is just 23 years old, nice! In addition to that Asia has the lowest obesity rates on the planet. That’s why a Filipina is more likely to be young and fit than other girls.

What’s even better is they don’t care about age. Even in Filipina-Filipino relationships, wide age gaps are commonplace. Asian culture actually respects age and its codified in law. Senior citizens in The Philippines are entitled to special discounts, they get their own shorter lines at service counters, and they are treated with respect unlike in the west.

Related: Christian Dating With a Big Age Gap

They Don’t Care About Race

Whether you’re black, white, Asian, or even green and blue you can find a Filipina for you. While there is colorism in The Philippines (as with all of Asia) if you come here you’ll find that many of them have evolved away from that and will look past any archaic notions of white skin beauty. Come as you are to The Philippines and you will find love.

They Actually Want Love

A big problem in the Filipino dating scene is that there are more women than men. Because the Filipino men know they’re in high demand they often will ask for money and play the field. Many Filipinas get tired of trying to buy a boyfriend and will look to foreign men who are serious about them and treat them as a human being instead of a source of income.

Filipinos Are Affectionate

So long as you get a Filipina that’s not over-the-top religious she’ll show you a lot of affection. Whenever I’m with my partner on a hot day she’ll always wipe the sweat off my face. I don’t even ask. She just instinctively takes out a handkerchief and wipes my face. It’s those small things that make me love dating Filipinas.

They Are Family-Oriented

The family is the most important thing to a Filipino. Filipinos love family and want one of their own. It’s very rare that you’ll find a Filipina that doesn’t want to have a family and just wants to go to the club every Friday night. Their dedication to their family is profound and amazing to watch.

They’re Not Demanding

If you’ve dated a lot of women back home then you know many of them have high expectations. They expect to be treated like princesses who demand ‘equality’ when it comes to household chores but still expect you to pay most of the bills.

In The Philippines, it’s the exact opposite. They will be competing for you! You don’t need to woo a Filipina with expensive gifts. The most important thing a Filipina wants to see is that you’re serious with her. Once you have proven you’re serious she’ll treat you with such love and respect you’ll feel overwhelmed.

You’ll Experience Love Like Never Before

Once you find a Filipina that loves you they make the best partners you’ll ever have. A Filipina that truly loves you will make you experience love in a way that you’ve never experienced in your entire life. She’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and hopefully, you’ll do the same for her. I’m a techie so I spend most of my days staring at my laptop looking at code and graphs. Suffice it to say I don’t care about clothes or anything of the sort.

Meet Your Filipina Wife

I’ll never forget one day I tried to go out to go to the store but my girlfriend wouldn’t let me go because my shirt was wrinkled. She didn’t want her lover (me) to be seen in clothes that weren’t ironed. She made me give her my shirt and he ironed it and then let me go out. That was when I knew I hit the jackpot.

What to Expect When Dating a Filipina

I remember speaking to a buddy that was having a hard time with the girls back home. The ones he was interested in weren’t interested in dating him, and the ones that liked him were too old for his liking. That’s why I, and his parents, suggested looking to the Philippines to date because he was looking for a good girl with traditional values but under 40.

He asked me when dating a Filipina what to expect?

• Vast cultural differences
• Expect to send money
• Expect to fall in love quickly
• They may not be so straightforward with their feelings
• You can expect to be loved as you’ve never been loved before

I told him that first of all you need to understand that even though most Filipinas speak English, there are still vast cultural differences. Expect to send money and that you need to take your time. Also, expect them to fall for you pretty quickly, and they may not be so straightforward as American women about their feelings. Best of all you can expect to be loved as you’ve never been loved before.

Expect Cultural Differences

A lot of guys look for a girl or go to The Philippines thinking it’s like going to a cheaper version of Hawaii. It’s understandable to think this way. The Philippines was a colony of Spain, The US, and for a brief moment even Great Britain! Most Filipinos speak English and are friendly. But nothing could be further from the truth. The Philippines is on the other side of the world from the US, and many of their customs will also feel that way.

A big difference that many western men encounter is the concept of ‘tampo.’ Filipinas are often reluctant to express their grievances directly, so they will do what’s called ‘making tampo.’ That is they will withdraw and just begin acting differently. You can tell she’s upset about something, but when you ask what’s the matter, she’ll deny there’s a problem but continue her withdrawal. You’ll be left to guess what her main issue is and then once you get it right, she’ll discuss it. It’s a passive aggressive punishment for slighting her.

How long it lasts depends on the individual. Sometimes tampo can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days (in most cases), or even a few weeks if she’s a real head case or you did something awful.

Also, the Filipino concept of time can be quite different. Often when a Filipina gives a particular time for her arrival to a place, it’s usually a suggestion and not an exact time. It’s not a social faux pas in The Philippines to be 15 minutes late, or more!

Guys also need to understand that virginity is still a thing in The Philippines. Many younger guys that are used to dating liberated western girls are in for a shock when they don’t get any after the 2nd or 3rd date. Now don’t get me wrong sex is readily available in The Philippines but if you are looking for a wholesome, take-home-to-mom, type of girl don’t expect her to put out right away. That’s what you should be looking for. A girl that puts out right away is often a scammer or way too westernized to have the traditional values I alluded to before. It’s not uncommon for country girls in The Philippines to be virgins until they are married.

Her family is going to be an essential part of her life. Unlike some western women who constantly denigrate and vilify their parents, especially their mothers, Filipinas love both of their parents and will do anything to help them. That means if you are with her for an extended period expect her to send money back to her family. This will happen even if you tell her that the dad is just using it to buy beer and prostitutes or if her juvenile delinquent brother is giving it to the next girl that he wants to sleep with. It just won’t matter. She’ll say ‘I know but what can I do?’ and keep right on sending it.

Expect to Send Money

Unless you’re dating a girl from the highest echelons of Philippine society, you should expect a request for money at some point. Whether its direct or indirect depends on the girl. I know many guys object to sending money, and you don’t want to be scammed but think about it. If you are dating a girl back home, you’ll also pay whether it’s going to the movies and dinner every Friday night or maybe she runs into some sort of financial jam. If you’re a man love costs money no matter what. The difference is it’s a lot cheaper in The Philippines than dating a woman back home. I don’t recommend sending one penny before the 3-month mark, though.

One tip I like to suggest to men who are not sure if she’s a scammer is to send a gift instead of money. You can go to Lazada.com and send her a teddy bear. It’ll cost you $10usd, and if she lives in Manila, the delivery is often free. Then wait to see if she makes a move afterward. For example, after you’ve sent the bear wait and see if she starts blathering on and on about her financial woes or some other implicit indications that she wants money. If she does, you know you’ve got a scammer on your hands.

Related: Signs She Just Wants a Green Card

Expect to Pay for Dinner For Three

Don’t be dismayed if she asks to take a cousin or brother on your first date. A girl from a good family won’t want to go out with a man she doesn’t know by herself. You’ll have to earn her trust which means on the first few dates you’ll be paying for dinner for three. That’s a good sign. Families that allow their young daughters to go out with just any guy by herself are often up to no good. Trust me, you don’t want a girl that’s dating you because she has to or needs to. You want a girl that’s dating you because she wants to.

Filipinos are passionate, and that goes for their love lives as well. It’s not uncommon to start feeling her getting attached to you after only a couple of weeks of chatting and video calls. Now, if she’s declaring love after the first or second conversation, she’s most likely a scammer but if you’ve been having some good in-depth conversations after a few weeks don’t be alarmed if she starts showing the signs she likes you. That is why as a man it’s very important you set the boundaries in the beginning that you’re not ready to get anything serious until you meet her in person. This will prevent a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

Related: Signs a Filipina Likes You

Expect Her to Want Kids

If you’re planning on dating a girl in her 20s, then understand that having children is very much on her mind. This isn’t a problem for some of the younger guys but if you’re in your 50’s, 60’s, & beyond that’s something you need to be cognizant of. If you are happily retired, then consider dating an older girl in her 40’s than a 21-year old.

Expect Her to Love Videoke

Videoke (karaoke on a television screen) is the favorite pass time of The Philippines. They love to sing, even if they’re not good at it. That means you can expect her to sing and have videoke parties at her (your) place. Any birthday, graduation, anniversaries, or just any get-together will involve videoke. This can work to your favor if you can sing because that is a great way to woo a Filipina into your arms.

See: Best Places to Meet Filipinas

That’s why western men marry Filipinas. An American girl probably would’ve felt too ’empowered’ to iron her man’s clothes. Filipinas will go out of their way to please their husbands so long as you treat them right. Many Christian brothers who date Filipinas come back to me and say they never realized how good love could be until they married a Filipina. The traditional values and the respect for age set Filipinas far apart from many western women.