A buddy that is looking to date in the Philippines asked me what is the Filipino American marriage success rate? I actually get this question quite a bit from guys that are interested in dating a Filipina.
The true answer is there is no answer. What I mean is there is no hard data specifically on the success rate of Filipina/American marriages. I checked the Philippine Statistic Authority and American research institutes and no data exists. That being said I think the success rate is quite high for a few reasons. 1. The age of the man. Typically men that have the wherewithal and the means to marry overseas are older and more mature. 2. The Philippine attitude toward divorce. The Philippines is only one of two countries on Earth that don’t allow divorce and polls show that just 53% of Filipinos support divorce. 3. In order to successfully marry a Filipina and bring her to America, you must prove to the US government that the relationship is bona fide.
Here’s why getting ditched as soon as she gets her green card is unlikely
The US government actually does quite a bit to protect Americans from marriage fraud. They passed The Marriage Fraud Amendments of 1986 because so many soldiers in Vietnam got duped by Vietnamese women into bringing them over to the US and then dumping them once they got their residency.
I’m not sure what you’ve heard but you don’t just walk into the US embassy and pick up your fiance visa for your partner.
- You have to prove that you can support the person financially (this weeds out a lot of the most gullible men as they tend not to have a lot of money)
- You have to produce many pages of documentation and evidence to prove that the marriage is bona fide
- The women (or man) is interviewed at the US embassy to determine if she’s legit
- The applicant has to submit to a criminal background check and evidence of prior marriages
- After that, she gets a conditional green card for two years in which during that time she can be deported if you discover she’s not legit
- Once she petitions to have the conditions removed from her green card she can be interviewed and questioned again! If she’s divorced that looks really bad.
If you are engaged and ready to bring her back to America it’s perfectly natural to be at least a bit concerned. After all, we all know someone or know someone that knows someone that got ditched by an international girl after she got her green card. But consider this. People don’t always tell the whole story–especially in highly emotional circumstances such as divorce. Most people seek to make themselves out to be the victim and their soon-to-be-ex the villain. Let’s think about this logically. You have a girl that’s thousands of miles away from her friends and family, with no or very limited income, and still doesn’t fully understand how everything works here. It seems very unlikely to me that she will just jump ship because she decided she was bored. Now yes, it does happen but I think it’s rarer than many people think.
Did you marry her for the right reasons?
I’ve said before that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a younger woman but that should never be the only reason you should marry someone. If you marry her for the right reasons like love? and respect then your chances of your marriage lasting will be much higher! If, however, you just married her for her body and the sex was great then expect her to feel the relationship is just as transactional as you do.
Related: Christian Dating With a Big Age Gap
Here’s how to Make Your Marriage Last
So now you know what not to do let’s talk about what a foreigner looking for a Filipino wife should do. First and foremost you need to be honest with yourself about what you’re really looking for. If you’re just looking for a hot 20 something to spend time with you for a fee then be honest. That’s super easy to find in the Philippines and you don’t really need to read any further–just join here for free.
If you’re looking for something serious with no money involved then you’ll have to look harder and be patient. That kind of thing doesn’t come easy. You can, however, speed up the process by going to a reputable dating site like Christian Filipina. I consider them to be the vanguard of the Filipina/Westerner dating scene. Why pay for a site when there are so many Pinays hitting you up on Facebook? Because a Pinay that has actually paid to join a website is likely to have a stable job, a stable income, be serious about finding a husband, and most importantly going to be in the middle or upper echelons of society. The biggest drawback to this site is the price. They aren’t the cheapest site out there because they offer personalized matching services–as in a human being actually matches you. However, if you’re not ready to invest in a site like that then try Filipino Cupid. They’re less expensive but without the personalized service.
Here’s what to look for in a Filipino Wife
You’re going to want someone that doesn’t need you. In other words a girl with a stable job. I’ve found call center employees are your best bet to meet someone financially stable. Second is going to be your public school teachers. Public school teachers in the Philippines earn very well. Note: I said public school teachers. There’s a vast difference between public and private school teacher salaries. My ex was a private school teacher and she earned the equivalent to $300 a month. If she tells you she’s a teacher ask her if she passed the board and if she works at a public or private school. Third are nurses but frankly, I’d be hesitant to date a nurse in The Philippines as they earn very little. Not that we’d be splitting the expenses 50/50 it’s just that if she’s not earning much the chances are higher that she’s just looking for a sugar daddy.
I recommend caution if you’re going to date::
A student (could be looking for a sugar daddy to pay her tuition which can be quite expensive), a mall girl (they work long hours and don’t earn much), a girl with no job and talks about going abroad. The sad truth is many Filipino OFWs are horribly mistreated, especially the maids & nannies and especially in the middle east, so girls will say or do anything to avoid having to go abroad to be an OFW. And no, I’m not saying everyone in these groups is bad. I’m just trying to give you an idea of what to expect.
The next step for finding a Filipino girlfriend or wife is to take your time.
There’s no reason to rush and if she’s pushing and rushing for a relationship or marriage too quickly that’s a very good sign that all she wants is a green card. A person that doesn’t need you also doesn’t need to rush. Marriage is serious and you want to make sure she’s the right one. I know a guy that got ditched as soon as he brought this hottie back from Brazil. Turns out she already had a live-in boyfriend and kids back in Brazil. She was just desperate for a green card and she got it.
Something that you need to do is to ask her to produce a CENOMAR (certificate of non-marriage)
This is especially important if you are marrying a woman that already has children. Many times if a girl gets pregnant the guy will go ahead and marry her to save face but then leave her shortly after the baby is born. Or they could be a legitimate couple in need of a sponsor–you.
The final thing you need to know is if you’re barely making ends meet yourself then you have no business dating a Filipina.
It’s not fair to waste these peoples’ time knowing that you have no intention of, or can’t, give her a better life. I’m not saying it’s all about the money but come on. We all know resources are going to be part of the reason she’s interested just like her youth and body are, at least in part of, the reason you’re interested.
Related: Five Prayers for a Godly Wife
I do want to make sure to let you know that once you find a Filipina that actually loves you they make the best partners you’ll ever have
A Filipina that truly loves you will make you experience love in a way that you’ve never experienced in your entire life. She’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and hopefully, you’ll do the same for her. I have a buddy that is a techie and got a good wife from The Philippines. He told me he’ll never forget one day when he tried to go out to go to the store but his girlfriend wouldn’t let him go because his shirt was wrinkled. She didn’t want her lover to be seen in clothes that weren’t ironed. She made him give her his shirt and she ironed it and then let him go out. That was when he knew she was the right one to be his wife.